Narcolepsy and Capitalism

Working Under Capitalism

The past few weeks, I have been putting the finishing touches on three poetry books. While working on the three books, I became aware, once again, of the ways narcolepsy deeply affects my ability to work. Under capitalism, human value has been reduced to our capacity and ability to work and produce products and services to benefit businesses and non-profits. For neurodivergent people like myself, we often cannot work and produce at the same rates as neurotypicals, without dehumanizing ourselves further to fit into the normative mold of a model employee. The struggle to produce and meet unrealistic expectations causes a lot of stress and anxiety, especially since our ability to produce and meet expectations directly impacts whether we maintain our employment, receive a livable wage, and can access accommodations, both inside and outside of work, to support us in the workplace.

As a Narcoleptic, my medication lasts for a limited time with varying degrees of success. I depend on my medication to simply keep me awake so I can work my shift before the effects wear off. Since my medication only lasts around three and a half hours, I rely on two doses that ultimately leave me with time at work where I am not fully alert and able to produce at the same level with the full effects of my medication. But, that is another issue for another post.

While trying to work on the three poetry books, I was reminded that my best time and energy are given to work. The projects outside of work that I want to pursue end up frustrating me, resulting in extended periods of time to accomplish anything. I have been dealing with this my whole life, even before getting diagnosed and having medication to stimulate me. Recently; however, I gave myself a break and started approaching my projects with a different perspective, namely an anti-capitalistic perspective.

Anti-Capitalism and Acts of Resistance

I am deeply invested in the anti-capitalistic acts of lingering, creating for the sake of creating, and humanizing myself through a means of work that is not wrapped up in an impetus to continually produce for monetary gain. Since I am invested in creating for the sake of creating, I have been able to drop my perfectionist tendencies and begin to enjoy the process of writing, creating graphics, and doing things without feeling the pressure to use it all to make money or even adhere to deadlines.

​I don’t work on Mondays and have felt the need to fill my days off with all kinds of activities. Instead, I am leaning into and listening to my body to guide my days off and to provide a space outside of the consumeristic, productivity-driven capitalist society we inhabit. It is not easy, and I am not perfect at it. But, I have found that my projects have been bringing me enjoyment and fun, whereas before they brought me despair and anxiety. It is all a process, and one I wanted to share with you this morning.

I hope you find time today to play for the sake of play, write for the sake of writing, rest for the sake of resting, and enjoy the moment.